Humans are Nosey
by maiuayame
Summary: They know we are all watching so how about we find out what happens when they don't know we are watching.YAOI
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings- yaoi (boy x boy) if you don't like please don't read, light fluff, language**

**Rated- T for language**

**Disclaimer- 'clears throat' Sadly I don't own bleach Tite Kubo does if I did own Bleach it would be a yaoi.**

**Pairing- Grimmjow/Ulquiorra**

**Summary- When two of our favorite espadas are**_** alone **_**we'll se what they really do when they think we aren't watching.**

**Humans are Nosey **

Ulquiora's P.O.V

I fixated my eyes on Lord Aizen and general Gin who was sitting on Lord Aizen's lap as he went on and on about some new law, that said we had to go and find some info on holidays that are celebrated in the living world and celebrate them ourselves no doubt this has something to do with one of Gin's irrational ideas. To be honest if it wasn't for the fact it would greatly upset Lord Aizen I would gladly let Gin meet the end of my cero. I noticed that Nnoitra was staring off into space even more so at Szayelaporro and he was returning the stare. How obvious could they be I mean I'm sure all of you as our public audience doesn't want to see them making love struck faces at each other, I mean honestly. "You are all dismissed my dear espada" we stood and bowed to our so called savior and lord. With this we left and now you the audience shall all be heading over to the Soul Society to witness a captain's and later a lieutenant's meeting. (now lets all go to our hidden camera now shall we, audience)."Hey" Ulquiorra looked over his shoulder to see the sexta espada Grimmjow Jaggerjaquez and immediately walked over to him "those Humans are so damned nosey" Grimjow leads Ulquiorra farther into the corridor and said humans are nosey because they got nothing better to do with their short fucked up lives to give a damn to how they spend it even if that means looking at other people's lives" Ulquiorra nods and softly looks up as Grinjow pecked his lips with a soft kiss. And actually smile (O.M.G he smiled) and said "yes they even stoop so low as to setup so called hidden cameras isn't that right Maiu"? (gulps) "umm well ya' see … hehe" "damn you humans are dumb as hell" I hear Grimmjow say right before the screen went black. "Well everyone I'm afraid to say we are having umm technical difficulties so that's all for today next time we'll be spying on Renji and Ichigo.

**Owari**

**I hope you liked it please review and tell me how it was for my first fan fiction so please be kind and please no flames. 3 **


	2. Chapter 2

Hi everyone I thought I'd add a second chapter to my first ever fanfic "Humans are Nosey" and I'm sure as you all know this is a yaoi so I beg of you If you no like then by all means you know read. Okay, okay as you all know I don't own Bleach never have and never will I really do wish I did though :'(. Okay on to the story,

Ichigo's P.O.V

I t was another boring day in school as I just sat in the class room zoned out thinking about Renji and how

much I wish I could be kiss- I mean kicking him across the room. "You know Ichigo you shouldn't lie

like that…it's bad for your health" I hear a voice from nowhere saying. Wait what am I going crazy no

I'm just imagining things there was no voice and I don't like Renji. "I never said you liked Renji" The

voice said yet again. Maiu, God tell me that's not you. I wait to hear a response and sure enough "okay

then it's not me it's someone who just sounds like me". I silently groan to myself and look out the

window when's the scene gonna go back to Hueco Mundo I'm sure you'd all just get a kick out of spying

on Ulquiorra and Grimmjow…this is suppose to just be a funny episode anyway. You know you guys

seriously don't have to watch this episode right? All it's gonna be is me and Renji goofing off and the

Espada's day to day routines. Huh oh you're leaving now good don't come back either…a hollow could

show up or something, okay alright then bye. (To our secret cameras) Ichigo raises his hands and says

"I'm not feeling too well so can I go home early today." He is dismissed an allowed to leave early. The

minute he steps outside he rushes over to the park where Renji would be waiting cursing under his breath

when he was stopped by a red light. "Looking for someone?" Renji walks up behind Ichigo as he slides

his hands around his waist. Ichigo lightly jumps as he feels the sudden touch but relaxes when he realizes

who it is "The hell is wrong with you, Maiu could have still been here and you know how damn nosey her

ass is" (hey I resent that) "and plus I wouldn't put it pass her to hack into the systems." Renji leans down

and kisses Ichigo's neck as they walk down an ally way behind a little local pizza shop. "Yeah, yeah you

know if we all didn't hide from her we could all do stuff like this" he pauses as he slides his hand past

Ichigo's crouch "and this" he stops to slide his hand up Ichigo's shirt. Ichigo slowly slides into Renji's

chest not even bothering to object at the touches. "Well yeah but she'd always be there watching with

who knows who". Renji shakes his head and smiles "then we all give her porn for her birthday of us" "you

don't think that'll actually work do you?" Ichigo questioned him looking up. "Well that's how Gin and

Aizen got her to leave them alone, they made like twenty porn videos gave'm to her and as far as I know

she doesn't bother them at all" Renji tells him. "Hmmm maybe we should do that" I get happy as I start

talking "yes you should it'd be the very least you could do for me and the sooner the better is what I

always say" "Maiu!" (oops)I hear Renji and Ichigo yell "how long have you been there" they ask "the

whole time" I respond. Ichigo jumps away from Renji and looks up "I'm going to kill you" I take off

running well I'm a little busy so Gin do you think you could help me "sure Maiu will update farely soon

but could you do her a favor and review and like she always says the sooner the better I'm sure you'll all

love the surprise she has planned for next time and this is Gin Ichimaru saying see ya'.

**Owari**

Just please review and if not for me do it for Gin and if not for Gin do it for yaoi


	3. Chapter 3

Hi everyone I was just watching a Bleach yaoi amv and then started to feel guilty about not posting this little fanfic so to make up for that I might post two or three new chapters depending on the reviews I get so you know what that means either you review or you don't get story. As always I…own…nothing even…though…I…want to…badly. Alright onward to the yaoi! There is a little bit of a SPOILER in this for my Yumichika x Ikkaku fans but nothing major. Oh and another thing the rating has gone up to m for this one just because I like the pairing.

Ikkaku's: Point of View

Well this is just great there's no more sake and Yumichika could be any damn where and all I want is a decent sparring partner but no one in the squad is willing to take me on for some reason ahh their all nothin' but a bunch of cowards and then they call themselves members of squad eleven. Those damn losers I got up and then looked and thought hey maiu I really don't give a damn usually when you stick around and spy but this time I'm gonna need ya' to do somethin' for me today, alright? "I don't know it depends what it is Ikkaku" I knew that little brat would try and make this difficult. "I'm not truying to make things difficult for you I just can't agree to something without knowing what it is" alright then I want you to help me get back at Yumichika for the hair incident I heard her laughing her ass off somewhere and I immediately thought damn it Maiu that wasn't funny! "Okay okay what do you want me to do?" I tell her my plan and then she agrees to remain hidden until the right time.(to the hidden cameras and my p.o.v)

Okay well in case your all wondering how we're gonna get Yumi-chan back well you'll have to wait and see (I should make you al wait but I won't be that cruel) So Ikkaku found Yumi-chan in their shared room in the bathroom messing around with his hair in the mirror. "So this is where you went off to" Ikkaku announced as he walked in on Yumichika without any warning. "Yes well I thought you would have done the same sooner I mean honestly not only were our men fighting ugly but they were horribly cowardly" Yumichika smirked and then added "did you honestly think they'd be any fun to fight?" "Nah but I do know something we could both do that'd be fun" Ikkaky wrapped his hands around Yumichika's waist pulling him close as they both ene=tered a deep and wet kiss that was also a battle for dominance . Ikkaku slid his hand up Yumichika's open white robe to his chest and quickly removed it without breaking the kiss. Yumichika let out a small moan as Ikkaku began to message his nipple and lean him against the wall. Ikkaku finally pulled away and whispered "you know it's dangerous to leave your guard down, isn't that right Maiu?" I quickly recognize the signal and said "especially after an incident like the wig one" Yumichika looked at himself in the mirror and saw that somehow Ikkaku had managed to exchange his shampoo with slow acting red hair dye and now his hair was completely red. Yumichika's jaw dropped "I can't believe you two…Would…would do something..be so cruel." Ikkaku chimed in "no what was cruel was you gluing that damn wig to my head" Ikkaku and I began laughing as Yumichika attempted to get the dye out. I don't think Yumi-chan is ever gonna let this go so I can guarantee I'll be doing something like this again real soon. Okay well goodbye flash step home safely and have a good night.

**If you want more than I suggest that you review soon oh and constructive criticism is always wanted. **


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